How Modern Mothers Prepare for Childbirth
If you were like me you celebrated the news of your long-awaited pregnancy by doing three things:
You chose five names for each gender, to be discussed with your significant other directly after giving the news.
You designed a nursery on Pinterest (unless you have already done that.)
You realized with a breath-taking panic that this meant that you would inevitably go into labor and deliver this baby, and you had no idea how to prepare for this.
Modern mothers are faced with more questions requiring confident answers than any other generation of mothers before us. Not only do we need to decide the basic decisions, like who will accompany us during labor or what to pack in the hospital bag. Now we have to consider Covid-19 hospital regulations, the level of medical intervention with which we are comfortable, and how to recover in a healthy way since we may not live near family that can help us like many mothers before us.
As a physical therapist who works with pregnant and postpartum mothers, I get more intimate time with my clients than the typical healthcare provider and I get to learn about these new concerns, along with being a young mother myself. A common theme among mothers in Generation Y (Millenials) and Generation Z is that they desire more education so that they can be confident in the informed decisions they must make. Many are exploring natural childbirth so that they can deliver at home or in a birthing center - meaning they have the option of having loved ones present and avoiding exposure to Covid-19. Many are also considering natural childbirth as a way to circumvent medical intervention, such as Pitocin and epidurals. Others are plagued by the thought that they may not make it to the hospital in time for the epidural and want to be prepared to deliver their baby naturally if they are called upon to do it.
In this post I will tell you about 4 things modern mothers are doing to prepare for natural childbirth.
Taking back control of their health.
Looking back to learn about how mothers before us handled childbirth.
Seeking education that goes beyond your basic childbirth class.
Making intentional decisions about child-rearing early in pregnancy.
Focusing on these things can help you feel more confident and prepared to navigate this exciting beginning of your motherhood journey.
Take back your health
Knowledge about food and environmental toxins that were once reserved for the brave few who dared to question and research is now becoming the norm among this educated generation of mothers. Another difference between the hardworking Baby Boomer mothers (to whom many of us owe our lives) - the focus shift from “everything is about my baby at the expense of my own health” and back to “the health of my baby is directly related to the health of my own body.”
Workout before, during and after pregnancy
Investigate their own food sensitivities, hormonal imbalances, and address overall aches and pains
Replace chemical cleaners and toxic hygiene items with “clean” or “DIY” substitutes
We now know there is a correlation between the ingredients in commercial household cleaners and common cancers. We are too busy (or desire our leisure time too much) to be kept down by treatable issues with out gut, hormones, and brain chemistry - especially if they can be treated naturally. And it is common knowledge to the American public that they should be engaging in 30 minutes of cardio exercise 5 days a week, strength training 2 days a week, and maintaining normal flexibility in order to keep from spending your retirement on avoidable health problems, as well as to manage anxiety, depression, and everyday stress. Our babies need us to take care of our bodies and our minds not only so they can develop correctly in the womb, but so that they can develop healthy attachments and emotional strength as they grow.
First they are nurtured by our own health, then they mimic our own health.
2. Learn from Mothers who came before us
It sounds ironic, but there seems to be this phenomenon of modern mothers returning to time-tested, “old-fashioned” ways of doing things. Some may say this is a fad, but I would like to think that we mothers are realizing that while we have the world of knowledge at our fingertips, new fads are simply not as good for us as timeless wisdom. From bonnets to home births, mothers are dropping the latest-and-greatest for Grandma’s (or great-grandma’s) traditions when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing.
Mothers are returning to pregnancy and postpartum tinctures, steams, teas and compresses that were simply a matter-of-fact for generations before us.
Mothers are desiring natural childbirth for a variety of reasons as opposed to medicated births, which have been used on a wide scale for less than a hundred years (though in many cases they save lives and bring peace to those who need it. Never let anyone make you doubt your decision for pain relief measures if this is what you desire and feel is safest for you and your baby).
Mothers are decorating nurseries with an old-world feel and donning vintage clothing reminiscent of an Eloise Wilkin book.
Mothers are engaging in handcrafts often related to their little ones, including sewing, embroidering, crocheting and macrame.
Mothers are realizing the detrimental effects of the lack of community surrounding postpartum mothers and are creating support groups, food trains, gifting meal plans, and hiring postpartum doulas. Mothers a century ago would never have been alone with their newborn for the first 2-3 months. Amish mothers still practice this principle and they are known for their health and for the contentedness of their babies.
If you enjoy a classic skill you know the benefits to your confidence and mental health. If you feel a yearning to know how they used to do it before the internet, baby registries, and millions of options, dive into this subject and you may find that the knowledge passed down between generation of mothers for hundreds of years may answer your questions just well as the latest trend.
3. Seek education to empower your decisions
Some mothers find peace in the unknown. I’ve had a client tell me about how she dons her headphones during labor and tells her midwife to let her know exactly what she needs to do, otherwise she doesn’t need to know what is going on. Oh, how I wish I could be like that! If you are more like me, you feel empowered by knowledge. You can make wise decisions and remain calm and present when you have all the facts. Your peaceful birth experience is reliant on your prepared mind and body.
I did my best to achieve this with my first baby, but realized there were many gaps in my knowledge of childbirth despite the childbirth class I took and books I read. As a physical therapist, I knew enough to know I needed to know more. I continued my education in obstetric physical therapy and opened a practice treating pregnant and postpartum mothers. When I relayed the information I had found after my son’s birth, they had the same reaction I had — “Why didn’t anyone tell me this?”
I would like to change that response, so I have created the Natural Childbirth Prep Course, a virtual course that marries the science with the practical so that you can pursue whatever type of birth with whatever method you choose and have your preparation actually have a positive effect on your birthing experience.
Here is a little of what you learn in the Natural Childbirth Prep Course:
Simple, but probably new anatomy that gives context to pain relief methods so they actually work for you.
Fear-Tension-Pain cycle and how to overcome it to decrease your pain and actually have a joyful birth.
Actionable steps to take during pregnancy to avoid common pain and symptoms like incontinence.
Information on baby’s position in the womb and how to optimize their position for a vaginal birth.
Safe exercise principles and where to put your focus for a more effective labor.
Tips for handling labor stalls.
How to use kinesiotape and belly bands during pregnancy the correct way.
Addressing posture and core to support labor, delivery, and postpartum recovery.
Like we talked about in #2 above, some of this information is the tried and true knowledge that was simply a matter of fact many years ago, but has since been lost. Other parts of this course are novel or revised methods that healthcare practitioners like myself are building their careers around.
Personally, the use of this information played an important role in my own ability to labor and deliver my second child naturally in the presence of both intense, calm work on my part and indescribable joy throughout.
You can start the virtual, self-paced Natural Childbirth Prep Course now by clicking here.
4. Make intentional decisions about parenting before the big day
While it’s important for our generation to remember that we don’t have it all figured out despite the plethora of opinions at our fingertips, we also have a very unique strength - creating our lives and our family culture in a unique way, borrowing from many generations of parents to produce a mash-up of ideals and strategies that best fit our goals for ourselves and our children. Mothers no longer have to return to a 9-5 when they would rather be home with their children due to the ease in which small businesses can thrive on the internet. Things like sending your child to a certain type of school or keeping them healthy no longer fits into a box, we have many options. Of course, your original ideas may evolve as you learn your little one’s personality and needs, and develop your family culture, but considering these scenarios before your little love arrives to decrease your brain space by at least half will help you parent with confidence and peace… at least more than you would have had if you hadn’t given them any thought:
Parents are leaning back toward attachment parenting and away from newer strategies, such as the “cry it out” method or scheduled feedings.
Mothers now know that their babies can hear their voice at 18 weeks gestation, meaning she can begin building familiarity with him or her through singing songs or repeating affirmations to them.
There is a huge shift toward unstructured nature play and away from technology and over-structured activities, especially for children younger than five years old.
More and more families are considering alternative schooling, such as Montessori, or home schooling.
So why is this included in a post about preparing for childbirth? Keeping the bigger picture in mind can help shift your perspective from the short, beautiful, terrifying 9 month period of pregnancy to the fact that there is more to come, and it is exciting! This is a time for both you and your baby to grow - labor and delivery is simply the first of many sacrifices you will make for your beloved little soul. Considering the next stage, and even the next and the next, can help you remain grateful for the small piece of their lives when they are totally and completely attached, dependent and safe within you.
What a magnificent time to be a mother! We have so many generations of mother to look back on, learn from, and emulate, while having the ability to experience our motherhood journeys with modern conveniences - pain medication, expert knowledge at our fingertips, and so many choices to fit our needs and personalities.
If you would like to know how I found more joy and less pain during my second labor and delivery, and how I’ve helped other mothers navigate their own motherhood journeys, join me today in the Natural Childbirth Prep Course.
Supporting Motherhood,
Dr. Caitlin Deems, PT, DPT, ATC